My heart is dead

My heart is dead

xhannahx

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whatever [21 Jul 2005|02:24am]

[ mood | blank ]

[ music | Haste the Day ]

my pic is old...i'm too lazy to change it.
i fucking hate this website.
it's stupid but w/e.
my life has been pretty good lately.
school. new job hopefully. lance. being home from florida.
i've been happy.
so yay!
<3

1 comment|post comment

[13 May 2005|12:17pm]

[ mood | anxious ]

[ music | xChampionx ]

i'm getting really sick of writing in this. xanga is better. but whatever.

so basically yesterday was a confusing day.

it started off amazing.

me and jesse and some of his friends went to la brenca. ahhh. it was amazing. it was so much fun. a few of em were cliff jumping but i just layed there and watched. the water was kinda...GROSS!

then i just got chinese food on the way home and me and my mom just chilled and watched the prince and me together.

then i went to golds gym to take this spin/cycle class they have there. it was so hard but sooo much fun. it was a really good workout. i think i might start taking it every day.

then i went home and took a shower and changed. and started off for jesses...

and i did the most stupid thing in the world. :( (if you don't know...you don't want to.) so that was the shitty part of my night.

so i get over to jesse's and i can't stop crying. thank god for him being there for me. i honestly don't know what i would have done without him. we started watching elf but i got really antsy...and kept crying so we went on a walk. then drove to the top of the world. then drove to his dads baseball game (which had ended).

so then we just went and played at the park. i'm thinking this is becoming a habit for us. but that's okay because i love it.

and then tonight...STRICKEN SHOW!!! everyone should go. <3<3<3

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unhappy [06 May 2005|02:53am]

i should be happy.

my dad is probably finally getting this job hes been wanting.

that means we wouldn't have to worry about money and spending anymore.

we'd get our own house. no more living with my uncle.

we'd get cinnamon. mandy's kitty!!!

and i'd have enough money to go to any hair school i wanted.

but i'm still not happy.

i just want to feel wanted for a change.

</3

1 comment|post comment

[02 May 2005|02:55am]

[ mood | blank ]

[ music | Acceptance-Seeing Is Believing ]

1)Name the last four things you have bought:
beads
shirts
chinese food
del taco

2)Name four drinks you regularly drink:
dr. pepper
capri sun
arizona iced tea
pepsi

3)Last time you cried:
tonight

4)What's in your CD player?
mae
unearth
remembering never
3 inches of blood
the agony scene
headbangers ball vol. 2

5)What's under your bed?
shoes, craft stuff, who knows...

6)What time did you wake up today?
4 pm

7)Current hair?
blonde and black

8)Current clothes?
tank top, bra, underwear, cheer shorts

9)Current desktop picture?
bleeding star clothing

10)Current worry?
lonelyness

11)Current hate?
lonelyness

12)Favorite place to be?
deep ellum (dallas, texas)

13)Least favorite place?
liberty, missouri...where i used to live.

14)If you could play an instrument?
piano

15)Favourite colors?
teal, hot pink, green, yellow, black

16)How tall are you?:
5'3"

17)Favorite expression?
not sure

18)One person from your past you wish you could go back and talk to?
my grandpa

19)Favorite day(s)?
friday and saturday

20)Where would you like to go?
hawaii or vegas

21)Where do you want to live when you get married?
anywhere with the man i love. preferably colorado some day.

22)Favorite food?
italian or chinese

23)Color of most clothes you own?
black

24)Number of pillows you sleep with?
2

25)What do you wear when you go to sleep?
usually nothing but tank top and cheer shorts or basketball shorts if i do

26)What were you doing 12AM last night?
laying in bed

27)How old will you be in 10 yrs?
26

28)What do you think you'll be doing in 10 years?
hopefully working for a record company...maybe a stylist, and be happily married with kids(maybe)

29)Do you have braces?
not anymore

30)Are you paranoid?
sometimes

31)Do you burn or tan?
tan

32)What is the brand of your wallet?:
no clue

33)First piercing/tattoo?
first picering- ears
first tattoo- sparrows and banner on my lower back

34)First enemy?
delayna

35)Last person you yelled at?
not sure

36)Last crush?
um...don't really wanna say

37)Last thing you ate?
strawberries dipped in chocolate

38)If you could be a pirate, would you?
i already am a pirate

39) Last time you had sex?
not telling

40) If you could be with anyone right now, who would it be?
no comment

2 comments|post comment

gummi bears [02 May 2005|02:49am]

[ mood | confused ]

[ music | Winter Solstice-The Fall of Rome ]

i'm so confused right now.
i'm lonely all the time.
i just want a boyfriend.
i think that would help my sadness.
i just wanna be with someone who cares about me.
is that too much to ask?
</3

3 comments|post comment

[22 Apr 2005|01:56am]

[ mood | depressed ]

i need someone to cheer me up. :(

call me and i'll love you forever.

</333

2 comments|post comment

[20 Apr 2005|01:55am]

[ mood | discontent ]

[ music | Hot Hot Heat ]

i am in a terrible mood right now.

i'm also confused about what i wanna do...hair vs. makeup. i'm going to cosmetology school next year instead of a community college. my parents are being supportive which helps a lot. i know they aren't happy bout it but they know i will be happier this way.

i found out i'm going back to ohio in june for a week or so for my grandmas birthday. i'm telling her and my aunt about my tattoo then. they are gonna kill me...or my mom. eeeks.

i miss my best friend sooo much. we hardly ever talk now and i hate it. i wish i could be in texas with her...nothing would make me happier. i really hope i can go back for a few weeks this summer. <333

yay for getting to hang out with mandy tomorrow.

i'm getting my nose pierced which is pretty cool.

i took out my gauges tonight...i'm sad but i'm over it.

and i'm already sick of my hair...i'm growing it out and dying it back to my normal color. :)

i'm gonna try to update this more but...xanga is just cooler. sorry.

night. <3

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sick [28 Mar 2005|01:38am]

[ mood | crushed ]

[ music | Nevea Tears ]

i'm really sick. i thought it was just a lil cold and it'd be gone in like 2 days. well i was kinda wrong. i feel like i'm dying. not only do i have a terrible sore throat from coughing i now think i have an ear infection too. could this night get any fucking worse? probably...but this is still pretty bad. also tonight i went to nevea tears show. from the moment i got there i knew i shouldn't have come. i was just in a bad mood and didn't feel good on top of that. but it was nice seeing the guys. as always. but i think i'm gonna go get in bed, watch tv, eat my 5 tacos from del taco...piggy i know. and try and get some sleep before work tomorrow. i may call in sick so call me tomorrow if you wanna come hang out and watch movies. :)

<3 deuces <3

2 comments|post comment

[08 Mar 2005|01:21am]

[ mood | excited ]

[ music | Gwen Stefani-Love, Angel, Music, Baby ]

i adore it.

but better pics tomorrow...

<3.

10 comments|post comment

[03 Mar 2005|12:45am]

[ mood | hurt ]

[ music | Playing Favorites-The Starting Line ]

i want to be someone to anyone.
i want to feel loved.
i want to feel needed.
i want to feel special.
i want to feel wanted.

</3.

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[28 Feb 2005|01:02am]

[ mood | tired ]

[ music | The Capricorns-The New Sound ]

i have a horrible headache. and it won't go away.

i worked from 12-8:30 today so basically my day was spent at whole foods. i'm still deciding wether i like my job or not. i do know tho that i have a really cool supervisor. he has a full sleeve and definatly rocks the greaser look. i love it. haha.

i want a b/f like that. no fair.

so i'm getting my lip pierced tuesday. most of you who talk to me a lot know what went down saturday night with the parents so i've basically said fuck it. and i'm getting it done. and no one is gonna stop me.

only 5 days til the nevea tears show. i honestly can't wait. they have to be one of my favorite bands. and i finally get to see K.C. again. yay. she is coming from texas! it's gonna be amazing.

then friday...play date with mandy. we are going to melrose hopefully and it is definatly needed. i miss her a lot. we don't go to school together anymore and i have a job now. so i see her less. but she is my best friend so obviously...i make lots of time to see her. DUH.

then in 12 days i am going back to texas for 9 DAYS. i can't wait. i get to spend lots of time with all my favorite people...mainly morgan. cuz she is my other half. and i love her with all my heart.

oh and new addiction...fabe's vegan chocolate chip cookies...i could live off these and arizona ice tea! yummm.

well i'm going to bed since my school has to be lame and need me to wake up at 8 and go to school and check out and take this lame test to graduate. but i'm excited cuz it's my last day of high school tomorrow. and i'm only there for an hour.

my life kicks ass. :)

love you all. goodnight and sweetdreams. <3.

oh and i expect LOTS of comments.

kthx.

1 comment|post comment

rawrasaurus rex [24 Feb 2005|10:36am]

[ mood | chipper ]

lately things have been going amazing for me. i'm pretty excited about that cuz up until a couple weeks ago i wasn't doing too great. most of my best friends know what i'm talking about. but things have changed lately and i love it. even with being grounded for 2 weeks i've been happy. here's my happy list...i'm lame i know:</p>
i'm finishing school TOMORROW. yay for graduating a year and 4 months early.

i get my vertical labret soon cuz that's my graduation present. (parents aren't too happy but we made a deal)

i get to go back to texas for 9 days in march and hang out with my best friend and see everyone, and go to south padre island, and hang out at UT in austin...and see FALL OUT BOY! can't get much better than that.

my job is pretty chill i guess. last night kinda stressed me out but oh well. it's money...

i got to hang out with mandy the other day for a photoshoot we did for a hair salon book. check out da pics...

hot damn. i love best friend days. they are the best.

and for everyone who hasn't seen...(since i'm in a picture posting mood)...this is my new puppy sunny...

well i think that's all for now...

everyone come hang out this weekend.

tomorrow night i'll be at the Nevea Tears show at el dorado in lancaster.

then saturday night i'll be at the studio s show of course...

so everyone go. it's for a good cause.

<3

7 comments|post comment

[15 Jan 2005|07:40pm]

[ mood | sick ]

[ music | head automatica ]

stole this from luis:

TEN people I enjoy the company of in no specific order:
morgan
mandy
matt
kyle
heather
bree
my mom
lindsey
tony
chris

NINE things im wearing:
jeans
sequin belt
shoes
black band shirt
black hoodie
necklace
earrings
ring
socks

EIGHT bands I like:
the warriors
nevea tears
lamb of god
every time i die
evergreen terrace
on broken wings
throwdown
calico system

SEVEN items I touch everyday:
hoodie
my hair
makeup
my cell phone
my computer
my purse
my truck

SIX things I do everyday:
sleep
wake up
take a shower
go on myspace
listen to music
watch tv

FIVE things I want to do before I die:
be in a band
find prince charming
get married
become a makeup artist
go skydiving

FOUR things I would never do:
drink
smoke
do drugs
move to cuba?

THREE bands I dislike:
the white stripes
franz ferdinand
modest mouse

TWO of my favorite fast foods:
fastaco
in and out

ONE person I love more than any other:
MORGAN

3 comments|post comment

blah [11 Jan 2005|12:31am]

[ mood | blah ]

[ music | Scars of Tomorrow ]

so ya. i used to have a livejournal but it was lame so i deleted it. but nooow. my profile is kinda boring. so if anyone would like to help me make it amazing id be greatly appreciative. k. thanks.

well...lets see whats been going on. i hate school. i hate MOST guys. and i love my friends. i guess u cant win em all.

plus im really excited because february 8th is the most amazing show. well second most amazing. my new years was great. but ya...the lineup is atreyu, norma jean, unearth, and scars of tomorrow. i love all those bands and if you dont u can just kiss my ass.

alright well im going to bed. im tired as hell and grouchy. call at your own risk.

<3.

1 comment|post comment

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